From reading some of my posts, I imagine one could think that I have recently become a paragon of inner strength and restraint; that I can resist every craving, however strong and tempting.
I hate to admit it, but I battle cravings every day. Some days I win and some days I lose. I have been winning more recently because I feel emboldened by my efforts to make a change. I feel supported by my nutritionist. I feel accountable by publicly blogging my efforts. Yet, there are days that I lose the battle.
I have listened to all of the advise that people give. If you have a sweet craving, drink a flavored coffee. Eat a piece of fruit. The fruit thing I think can work. It helped me today when I ate an apple instead of some kind of junk food. But the coffee idea is a big fail. I started out drinking vanilla coffee, it just increased my desire to eat something sweet. There is nothing better than a steaming mug of coffee and a slice of coffee cake. There’s a reason it is called coffee cake after all. So, fruit not coffee works for me.
If I have a salty craving, I can usually satisfy it with crunchy vegetables and hummus. I might mix in a pretzel or two for good measure to make sure I feel full.
But there are other foods I crave. Chinese food or Indian food for instance. And no, the veggie dishes do not cut it. I failed miserably Saturday when I ordered crispy beef and spring rolls. I do not order out much anymore and eat big starchy, fatty meals like that, but I just did not feel like cooking on Saturday and just caved. Yes, the meal had vegetables. And I had the vegetarian hot and sour soup. And I did not eat it all at once. I stretched it out over two meals. But it was still a total faceplant as far as restraint goes. I can go ahead and chalk this one up to the “Last Supper Syndrome” I talked about before. But I can only get away with that now in the few remaining months before the surgery.
After the surgery, it will be a whole different ball of wax. I will have no wiggle room. For the first eight weeks, I will be on a full liquid diet. Full liquid allows some solid foods that are blended into a liquid form. So, a can of soup, blended. Sounds pretty disgusting? I thought so. So, I have a whole host of ideas for soft, blended food that is delicious. I have been researching some homemade baby food recipes and putting my own particular spin on them. They have to be gentle and bland, to allow my stomach time to heal, but I know I can make it work.
But as you can see, cravings for heavy, salty, sweet foods will have to be managed hard. I do not know how the surgery itself will affect my cravings. I know the surgery will affect the amount of food i can eat, but will it affect what I want to eat? If eating certain foods will cause pain or potential injury, will it help me curtail the desire to eat them? I simply do not know.
What I do know is that right now, the skinny girl inside does not always win these fights. Right now, the fat chick is still sometimes in charge. That bitch is in for a rude awakening!