I Am In Trouble

I hate to admit it, but I am a big coward.  I hate pain.  I cannot even watch someone else fall down or get hurt.  My own legs and feet will hurt and I get shivers through my body.  I always have to turn away from the movie screen or tv when someone is hurt .

People who know me would not think that I am such a big baby when it comes to pain because they all know that I have lived with some kind of pain most of my life.  One would think that I have a high tolerance for pain, but I do not.

I had a kidney stone in high school.  I lived with that pain for a year trying to pass it before they finally did surgery.  See, back when I was in high school, before the dinosaurs died, there were no cool sonic procedures or microscopic surgery to deal with kidney stones.  You either passed it or they operated.  Since I apparently could not do one, I had to do the other.  It was an unpleasant experience, but I was 16 and bounced back quickly.

I also have dealt with foot and back pain most of my adult life.

Why this sudden preoccupation with pain?

I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday for my annual physical.  Two things happened that I did not like.  One, they took my blood.  I hate getting stuck with needles, but I’m willing to concede that I must have my blood drawn if I’m going to proceed with this surgery.  Two, I had to get a shot.  It really stinks getting a shot as an adult.  At least as a kid they give you candy, but not me.  When I get a shot all I get is a needle in my arm.  No lollypops, Dora stickers, nothing.  I know my niece would not stand for that, but she is just a kid.

My doctor informed me that it has been a while since I had a tetanus shot.  The shot itself is not too bad.  But today my arm is really sore.  That’s the problem with a tetanus shot.  I’ve had them before and my arm always hurts for a couple of days afterwards.    Because I’m such a big baby, I’ve been sitting at work all day thinking, “Owie my arm hurts! poor me!”

This started me thinking…I am really in big trouble.

I am really worried about the pain of the surgery.  I know it will be short lived, but I remember the pain of the surgery I had in high school and I did not like it one bit.  I won’t let my fear of pain keep me from doing it, but I am probably going to worry way too much about it and be very miserable for a while afterwards.

I have been thinking about this for a while, but I have managed to keep my fears at bay.  Today, with my arm in pain however, I am starting to think about the pain of surgery more.  I know these feelings will abate as the pain in arm starts to feel better, at least until the surgery actually rolls around, but it is a concern that I have.

I know that I will deal with it as I have dealt with many other things.  Many of the other health problems that I hope will abate after I’ve shed the pounds are much more painful difficult to deal with sometimes.  That thought gives me strength and the courage to face whatever pain I may have to endure to get through this.

But today, I am a big fat baby.

Speaking of big fat babies, this is Max.  My brother and his wonderful wife took Max in when he was just a kitten.  They kept him until they found out their little girl, who arrived a year later, was very allergic to him.  They found Max a new home, but I do miss that crazy cat.  🙂


I think I am going to do an open call for kitty photos.  If you have a cat doing something crazy, funny, or super-cute, just email it to me and maybe your little baby will get a feature on my blog.

2 responses to “I Am In Trouble

  1. If it’s any consolation, after GB you generally get pain meds to help you deal with the worst of the pain. So maybe it won’t be as bad as you are thinking. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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