Three more days. I have to admit that I am getting very nervous. This past Thursday I noticed that some of the anxiety I experienced a few weeks ago was starting to rear its ugly head again. I was not as crippled by that anxiety as I was the last time I wrote about it, but I was definitely feeling tense. I recognized it right away, started talking about it, and started taking some action.
I know that it is normal to be nervous before any surgery, especially one that will be as life-changing as a gastric by-pass. My challenge is to not let that nervousness prevent me from doing what I need to do to get ready for the surgery. There is no chance in my mind that my nervousness will prevent me from going through with the surgery. I have come too far to turn back now.
I want this change. I need this change. I just know that I cannot continue to live the way I have been. Being morbidly obese is difficult. It is painful. It is killing me. I have dangerously too many symptoms that could eventually materialize as heart disease. My feet and legs hurt a lot much of the time. My back constantly hurts and makes walking and standing difficult if not nearly impossible. Being morbidly obese is not a prescription for living. It is a prescription for an early death.
I want to live.