During times of stress, staying on any diet plan can be very difficult, especially someone who has to stay on a tight schedule such as a bariatric patient. This week has been difficult for me.
First, I have to say that the people here do not eat. Well, they do, but not frequently enough. My mom will eat breakfast, maybe. I made her eggs on Sunday around 830am. Then at noon, she didn’t understand why I needed a snack. My schedule is pretty tight. I am supposed to have breakfast, protein snack, lunch protein snack, dinner. I feel like I eat all of the time, and I guess I kind of do. My body is now trained on this schedule.
At noon when I hadn’t eaten yet, I made my way into the kitchen and started rummaging for appropriate protein snacks, of which my mother has none. Yes, I know. I should have been better prepared. I did try to think ahead and bring my own protein snacks, but I left it on the kitchen counter back in Arlington. Good thinking, right.
My mom can have breakfast and then not eat again until dinner. I’m not supposed to do that. I do not eat a lot for each meal, so I have to eat frequently, plus take vitamins. I know if I skip meals, forget my vitamins, or wait too long between meals, I feel it. Not hunger pains so much as the other signs of not eating, irritability, dizziness, etc. I had to explain this to my family and let them know that while they do not have to eat frequently, I do.
I feel a lot of pressure about this, I have to admit. Most of it is stress that I am creating myself. I am worried that every time I eat, they will think I am going back to my old ways and I so want them to see me as doing well. I’m not saying that I do not occasionally struggle with food, addiction, beating myself up for falling off the wagon sometimes. I just am doing a lot better and I would like for my family to know that.
Of course traveling, dealing with a death in the family, nursing my mom through surgery, looking through old paperwork to make sure she has what she needs to arrange the funeral, get her survivor benefits from social security, make sure she has everything she needs as far as her insurance paperwork, etc adds to the stress levels.
This has definitely been a very trying week, but it is almost over and I will be back home and back on schedule soon. Granted, I know I will have to come up here several more times to help my mom out, but things will be much easier, I hope.