So this past week, I threw myself into the exercising ring all pistons firing. I have gone nearly every day to the gym and exercised my heart out. I’ve done Bodyflow, Yoga, Zumba, the stationary bike, the treadmill, and Monday I am meeting with the personal trainer to learn more about the weight machines, etc.
And now I have a whole new understanding for the word pain. OMG!
This is what you get from a lifetime of not taking very good care of yourself. When you finally do start taking care of yourself and make significant changes to alter the course of your life, you experience significant pain. The surgery was painful. Learning to eat differently to accommodate my new stomach can be painful sometimes. The effects of the surgery are sometimes painful (see posts on constipation and other problems I have had). And now the exercising to get in shape is painful.
Bottom line, I think the pain is worth it to have a better life.
To be perfectly honest, I was living with tremendous pain before I had the gastric by-pass. My back hurt pretty much all of the time whether I was standing, sitting, or walking. I could not walk very far or very much. I had difficulty breathing. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. And I had flare ups with my different organs hurting from time to time. I had a couple of very scary episodes with my heart, my liver, and my kidneys.
I was headed down a very scary road that did not have a good end in sight. I was really afraid that if I did not do something to change course, that I was on a path to an early grave. I had a choice to make; continue doing what I was doing and accept the fact that I was slowly killing myself or find a way to change course, however extreme, and try to live a better more full life.
I am not ready to give up. Not yet. I love to quite Stephen King’s The Shawshank Redemption when the main character, Andy Dufresne says to his friend Red, “It comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying.”
But another of my favorite quotes is from the poet Dylan Thomas: “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
I do not plan to go gently from this life. I made the choice to live and I will do what it takes to make sure the life I live is fulfilling, worthwhile, and as long as possible. If it takes a bit of muscle pain and inconvenience to achieve that, so be it. I may whine and complain about being in pain, but I recognize that I did do this to myself. I let myself become this out of shape. It is going to take a while to get back into shape.
Now, there are some naysayers out there who have told me that I will not stay committed to going to the gym. They were also the same people who said I would never go through with the surgery. And the same ones, who after I had the surgery, claimed I would never stick with the plan and I would revert to my old ways.
I don’t know what about this whole process has led people to believe I will not follow through. Maybe they haven’t been paying attention, but I did have the surgery. I have stayed on target. And despite one or two minor setbacks, I have not reverted to my old ways. Oh and hello! I’ve lost 118 pounds, so suck it, haters!
Maybe they are jealous of all that I’ve accomplished and they feel they need to pull me down to make themselves feel better. Maybe someone changing their life is such a foreign concept to them, they cannot get their tiny little brains around it. Or maybe they just cannot understand that this is not about them, and pleasing them did not factor into my decision. Who knows.
All I know is that I’m not going to let their low opinions keep me from doing what I must do. So, bring on the pain!