An Open Letter to Fat-Shaming ND Woman

Dear Fat-Shaming ND Woman,

I understand your concern about the health of American children and childhood obesity.  I understand that you feel you need to take a stand on a holiday that is all about the candy.  Having struggled with obesity all of my life, I really wish that I had learned and appreciated the benefits of healthy eating and the dangers of fat, sugar, and salt earlier in my life.  I disagree, however, with your fat-shaming tactic.


Handing out candy to some children, the thinner, and in your estimation, more deserving children while handing out fat-shaming letters to children you alone determine are carrying a bit too much weight, is absolutely disgraceful.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Does it make you feel better about yourself to pick on children you view as moderately obese?   What have they done to earn your ire?  I have to wonder what is wrong with a person who has to make themselves feel superior by picking on children?

I think it would be one thing if you refused to hand out candy to all of the children, but by choosing to hand it out to some and not to others because they are what you view as moderately obese, is wrong.  Are you a medical professional?  Are you a nutritionist?

It is people like you who have gone out of their way to make me feel bad about myself my entire life.  Don’t you think that overweight children feel badly enough about themselves without being singled out by you?

You do not know a particular child’s situation.  Maybe the child you view as obese has another medical problem and candy has nothing to do with it. Maybe they will simply grow out of it.  Maybe that child has recently lost weight and their parents are trying to teach them to be responsible about candy and other treats.  Having the treats around and learning eat them sparingly and in moderation is a good lesson to learn.  Who are you to try to supersede a decision a parent might make about their child?

There are many ways to attack childhood obesity without attacking the child or their family.  I will give you some positive suggestions that can encourage good food behavior instead of attacking children with your divisive fat-shaming letter.

  • Do not hand out candy at all.  Keep your door shut and do not give candy to any kids.
  • Work with a local farmers market to hand out a coupon for a piece of fruit.  You pay for the coupons and hand them out to kids in lieu of candy.
  • Hand out silly, cheap toys instead.  Buy a big bag of plastic spiders or something.
  • Hand out tiny boxes of raisins.
  • Hand out pencils.
  • Hand out erasers in fun shapes.
  • Hand out Playdoh.
  • Hand out glow in the dark sticks – kids love these!
  • Hand out balloons.
  • Hand out fun cards with puzzles or pictures that they can color in.
  • Hand out crayons.

You can do any number of things that does not involve handing out candy laden with sugar and fat, and does not include a fat-shaming letter.  You can then feel secure that you are doing your part to combat childhood obesity by not handing out fattening treats.  You will also have the added benefit of not being viewed as an evil, horrible, judgemental, self-righteous witch that the village now wants to burn at the stake.

Happy Halloween!


The Skinny Girl Inside.

9 responses to “An Open Letter to Fat-Shaming ND Woman

  1. Yep. Studies seem to support the notion that shame doesn’t really help. What helps is consistent training, softer yet honest emotions, and leadership by example. Can’t lead by example with an anonymous letter, can we? The stats on processed and refined candy consumed are pretty horrendous. Unhelpful anonymous letters don’t really help. It isn’t healthy for optimum weight or underweight children to eat the processed, refined candy either. So the letter is misleading.

  2. Actually, no. She can’t do any of those things. Because those things don’t allow her to be a judgy, self-righteous bitch.

    For me, Halloween is an actual holiday. But when I was growing up, it really was ALL ABOUT THE CANDY! To have this woman ruin that, for dozens of little kids? It makes me angry. Halloween gets enough crap as it is. She can take her fat shaming and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

  3. Subrina Caldwell

    As a mom to two children who are on the chunky side I would have had a few choice words with this woman!!! We monitor my children’s weight through their doctor and I don’t need anyone else telling me my child should not have candy. How absurd is this person to make judgment calls on kids. How would she feel if we left her a note saying she needs a face lift because her ugliness is scaring my dogs?? Oh the nerve of some people is mind boggling!

  4. bodyimageprojectblog

    Reblogged this on THE BODY IMAGE PROJECT and commented:
    Please Read! Thank you for sharing this Letter

  5. Thank you for that letter! I was appalled. You were right to include all the other things she could have handed out. This year I selected 65-calorie bags of Pirates Booty and 70-calorie bags of Motts Fruit candies (although we didn’t have any trick or treaters). Judging a child, or anyone for that matter, by their appearance is prejudiced and discriminatory. .

  6. This is unbelievable. 😦

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