Tag Archives: wls

Unexpected Changes – HAIR

There are many changes I experienced as a result of the surgery and weight loss. Today I am going to talk about hair. My hair has been through so much since the surgery. I was pretty vain about my hair pre-surgery. I did not win the bikini-body lottery, but I did get the beautiful mane of thick hair.

I lost a lot of hair about 4 months post-op. I was freaking out. I mean really f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g out! Losing my hair was one of my biggest concerns.

Here is my hair January 2013, 3 months post-op:

Jan 2013

Jan 2013

 

 

 

 

Here is my hair April 2013, 6 months post-op:

blouse

 

And again in May-June 2013:

 

photo[2]

As you can see, my hair was not so thick anymore. I did a lot to try to cover up the fact that I was losing a lot of hair, but it was still quite obvious that something was going on. I tried increasing my biotin, upping my protein intake, I even bought a whole collection of biotin shampoos.

The good news is, my hair did grow back. The crazy news is, it grew back in curly. My sister calls it Shirley Temple Curly. I fought it for a long time and straightened it every day. I have since given up and let the curls take over.

It has taken me a while to try to get a good hair routine together for the curls. I have had several hair cuts to try to find one that works for curly hair. My sister’s hairdresser did a really good job cutting my hair recently.

Here is a current picture of my hair. This is just the back. I need to get some of my front. My sister took this one last weekend after we walked all over the convention center for the National Book Festival, so I wasn’t really thinking too clearly, or I would have gotten one of the front as well.

hair

So, if you are worried about hair loss, don’t. You may lose some hair, but it will grow back. It may come back in crazy-curly. Who knows! But do not despair. I would do it all over again to lose 127 pounds!!

 

When I Get Discouraged…

It is easy to get discouraged when the scale does not move or does not move as quickly as it did in the beginning.  I have amped up my exercise recently, and I am trying to re-evaluate what I am eating to make sure that I am staying on plan and getting the right kind of nutrients.  I’m thinking of cutting back on the cappuccinos and converting back to regular coffee instead.  Fewer calories in regular coffee, although I will miss the foam.

Sometimes all I see is how far I have to go and not how far I have come.  To test the waters and attempt to cheer myself up, I tried on an item of clothing the other day that I have not worn since high school.  Yes, I still own one or two things from high school.

Let me preface this by saying that when in high school, I weighed between 120-135-ish range, depending upon the year.  I still have my high school band jacket and a t-shirt from my first school play.  I was in the orchestra my Sophomore through Senior years of high school.  My skinniest, at 125, was my Sophomore year when the school did West Side Story.

So, I put on my high school band jacket just for shits and giggles.  I can put it on and almost get it closed.  I cannot yet, button it, but a year ago, I couldn’t even an arm through a sleeve.  (Pay no attention to my messy hair and room, please.)

hs

It’s strange, because in high school I thought I was fat.  Everyone around me, almost everyone at least, confirmed this.  I was always being encouraged to diet.  I was always told how pretty I would be if I would just lose some weight.

Right before my surgery, my sister Sandy tried to put the jacket on.  She’s 5’4″ and weighs maybe 145 pounds.  She was always the skinny one.  She put this jacket on.  The sleeves were too short, and she could not even get it close to buttoned.

She turned around and looked at me and said, “Oh yeah, you were soooo fat in high school! Yeah right!”

If only I had known then what it was to be really fat…makes me sick to think about it.

So, when I’m feeling like I am making no progress, I put this jacket on.  I cannot wait until I can get it buttoned.  When that happens I will post a follow-up pic.  Maybe I will even put on my West Side Story t-shirt with it.  (I cannot believe I still have that!)

Happy Sunday, everyone and enjoy the start of football season!  I cannot wait until the weather cools off enough so that I can start wearing scarves and jackets.

Fighting Back My Own Demons

I know that I have a lot to celebrate and be thankful for since my WLS surgery.  I have lost 108 pounds.  I have come down in size from a 30/32 to a 14/16.  I can walk.  I can breathe.  I can walk and breathe at the same time.  I have many new cute outfits.  I can fit into old cute outfits that I have not worn in years.  I have a lot to be grateful for.

And yet…

I still find that it is a daily struggle to fight back the demons that took me to that awful place where I weighed over 300 pounds and felt that my life was not worth living.  I still have to struggle against the same self-doubt and fear; the same desire to fill that void inside of me with all the wrong things; the paralyzing thought that I have wasted too much of my life; the fear that I have already done too much damage to my body and that no matter what I do now, it cannot be repaired; the fear that no matter what or how much I change, I will always be unloveable; that I will always be alone; that I will never progress any further in life than where I am now; that the evil voice inside my head and the people in my life who reinforce that voice are right, that I am nothing and not worth the effort.

The intellectual side of my brain knows that none of this is true, but some days it is harder to believe than others.  I know tomorrow I will feel differently, but today the struggle continues.

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