I hate to admit it, but I am a big coward. I hate pain. I cannot even watch someone else fall down or get hurt. My own legs and feet will hurt and I get shivers through my body. I always have to turn away from the movie screen or tv when someone is hurt .
People who know me would not think that I am such a big baby when it comes to pain because they all know that I have lived with some kind of pain most of my life. One would think that I have a high tolerance for pain, but I do not.
I had a kidney stone in high school. I lived with that pain for a year trying to pass it before they finally did surgery. See, back when I was in high school, before the dinosaurs died, there were no cool sonic procedures or microscopic surgery to deal with kidney stones. You either passed it or they operated. Since I apparently could not do one, I had to do the other. It was an unpleasant experience, but I was 16 and bounced back quickly.
I also have dealt with foot and back pain most of my adult life.
Why this sudden preoccupation with pain?
I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday for my annual physical. Two things happened that I did not like. One, they took my blood. I hate getting stuck with needles, but I’m willing to concede that I must have my blood drawn if I’m going to proceed with this surgery. Two, I had to get a shot. It really stinks getting a shot as an adult. At least as a kid they give you candy, but not me. When I get a shot all I get is a needle in my arm. No lollypops, Dora stickers, nothing. I know my niece would not stand for that, but she is just a kid.
My doctor informed me that it has been a while since I had a tetanus shot. The shot itself is not too bad. But today my arm is really sore. That’s the problem with a tetanus shot. I’ve had them before and my arm always hurts for a couple of days afterwards. Because I’m such a big baby, I’ve been sitting at work all day thinking, “Owie my arm hurts! poor me!”
This started me thinking…I am really in big trouble.
I am really worried about the pain of the surgery. I know it will be short lived, but I remember the pain of the surgery I had in high school and I did not like it one bit. I won’t let my fear of pain keep me from doing it, but I am probably going to worry way too much about it and be very miserable for a while afterwards.
I have been thinking about this for a while, but I have managed to keep my fears at bay. Today, with my arm in pain however, I am starting to think about the pain of surgery more. I know these feelings will abate as the pain in arm starts to feel better, at least until the surgery actually rolls around, but it is a concern that I have.
I know that I will deal with it as I have dealt with many other things. Many of the other health problems that I hope will abate after I’ve shed the pounds are much more painful difficult to deal with sometimes. That thought gives me strength and the courage to face whatever pain I may have to endure to get through this.
But today, I am a big fat baby.
Speaking of big fat babies, this is Max. My brother and his wonderful wife took Max in when he was just a kitten. They kept him until they found out their little girl, who arrived a year later, was very allergic to him. They found Max a new home, but I do miss that crazy cat. 🙂
I think I am going to do an open call for kitty photos. If you have a cat doing something crazy, funny, or super-cute, just email it to me and maybe your little baby will get a feature on my blog.